Preparing for your birth is like planning your wedding
Be honest, you put WAY more money, time and energy into planning your wedding than you have your birth prep so far, right? Don’t worry, you’ve got time to reset the balance. The way you feel about your birth will have more of an effect on your long-term mental health than the way you feel about your wedding and yet we spend years planning our weddings (not to mention £1,000s!). Let’s explore some of the similarites together.
Me and my husband on our perfect wedding day back in 2012.
First of all, let me introduce myself. I’m Rhi and I’m a fully qualified and accredited hypnobirthing teacher, who offers courses in Leeds and online. I like to feel in control (of everything!). My wedding and my births have been huge points in my life where I’ve felt increased levels of anxiety - I wanted them to be perfect and I wanted to know I’d made the right decisions for me.
Now, as a hypnobirthing teacher, I know that having a birth experience that feels positive to you (however that looks for you) has such a positive impact on your mental health. When I think about wedding planning and preparing for birth, I think the similarities are huge yet I am really aware that most people will spend a lot more money, time and energy on their wedding prep than they do their birth.
Why is this? Is it because our weddings are more externally visible and we care more about what people think than about our own mental health? Is it because we’ve been conditioned by society to do this? Is it because we know more consciously that weddings can be wonderful but are less aware that births can be? Is it because we feel the wedding is for both of us and the birth is just for us? I’m not sure but what I am certain about is that if you prioritise your birth preparation through hypnobirthing, you will have a better birth - this is backed by research.
Take your venue as an example. How many wedding venues did you view? I bet it was more than one. How many birthplaces have you considered? You don’t have to give birth in hospital (or Obstetric Unit/OU) just because it is your first option. Do your research and decide where is best for you. I’d recommend this as a good place to start if you’re not sure and like ensuring you’re making informed decisions.
We chose ‘accidentally in love’ as our first dance song. Have you considered making a birth playlist? It’s a great way to boost your oxytocin and distract yourself from the power of your surges.
What about your photographer? You knew they were going to spend the whole day with them so you needed to get along and like their manner. I bet you looked into a few different photographers. Have you considered your birth partner carefully? It doesn’t necessarily have to be the baby’s father. Usually it is but know that it’s your choice. Your birth partner will be with you all day and will need to support and advocate for you so make sure you choose the right person for the job and ensure they are as clued up as you are. My courses are all designed with you and your birth partner in mind and will give them all the tools they need to support you in having the birth you want.
What did you wear to get married in? I’m guessing you spent quite a bit of time choosing the perfect dress. I actually used to work in a wedding dress shop (such a lovely job!) so I know just how important it is to get the right dress - it needs to look right but more importantly feel right. Have you thought about how you want your birth environment to feel? Your senses are really powerful in making you feel calm and relaxed. What will you wear to feel comfortable? What will you want to see? What smells will transport you to your happy place? What sounds will aid your relaxation and boost your oxytocin (more on that here)? Spend some time thinking about your ideal birth environment and start with your senses. You’ll cover all of this in lots of detail on my course.
Hypnobirthing can’t guarantee you a certain birth outcome, just as you couldn’t guarantee it wouldn’t rain all day on your wedding day, but hypnobirthing will arm you with tools to help you feel calm and in control of the decisions you make about your birth journey, which will make you feel more positive about it.
Yours,
Rhi x
